By Jill Charles
The Columbia Basin pygmy rabbit
Education: You majored in philosophy? We don’t pay you to think on this job.
The African elephant
Languages: English only. Trade Aramaic proverbs and Haida legends for our stolen spelling and half-assed grammar.
The gray timber wolf
Lifelong monogamy: How boring to be loved forever! Throw your mate out at the first argument.
The green sea turtle
Family: I only call them when I need money. They don’t agree with my politics and they ask me to fix Thanksgiving dinner, fix the roof, fix my addictions.
The western bluebird
Friends: 300 faces on the computer screen but none standing by your hospital bed.
Plant food: You can’t eat any fruit on this diet, only vitamin water from our lab.
The golden toad
News: Read about Hollywood heiresses not the Ukraine invasion or the hungry family next door.
Voting: No one counts your ballot anyway. Just stay home on Facebook. What wars? What recession?
The right whale
Home: Was that your house? The corporation called it eminent domain and paved over your habitat.
It was never just animals.
Jill Charles lives in the Albany Park neighborhood of Chicago and works in a Montessori school office. She performs her poetry at open mic nights at The Heartland Café and the Green Mill in Chicago. Read her jazz age novel Marlene's Piano from Booklocker.com