On Running Into the Mothers of Ex-Girlfriends


By Kenneth Nichols

Wow yeah how are you you look great!

I was just on my way to the broker:
I want to shift half of my alternative fuels investments
To third-world microcredit firms.

Law school taught me that my
MacArthur Genius Grant and
Three Olympic gold medals in track & field aren’t the most important thing.

I’ve been lucky:
The State Department pulled back red tape
For my orphanage in Rumbaziland.
We opened it with a U2 concert.  (Bono insisted I play rhythm guitar.)

Not that I haven’t made mistakes:
Never train for an Ironman
While completing a surgical residency!

The weight?
Well, Marty Scorsese wanted people to see power in my frame
So I can truly embody the young Brando.
It will take months to lose the muscle
For my Payload Specialist assignment on STS-122.

Now, I wouldn’t call myself a spy; we prefer “covert information operative.”
It’s not as glamorous as it seems;
Monte Carlo gets boring after a couple rooftop chases.
It will pay off when I get that ambassadorship.

So how is Allison?
Heard she got married.


Kenneth Nichols received his MFA in Creative Writing from Ohio State. He teaches writing in Central New York and maintains the writing craft web site Great Writers Steal, accessible at www.greatwriterssteal.com. His work has appeared in many publications, including Main Street RagSkeptical Inquirer and Lunch Ticket.