Health(s)care


By Hannah Thomassen

the internist says chem panel
the pathologist says thyroid
the endocrinologist says Levoxyl
the naturopath says iodine

the dentist says periodontist
the periodontist says shock and awe
the ayurvedician says oil pull
the guru says breathe

the dermatologist says cortisone
the allergist says pollen
the urologist says prostate and micturate
the ophthalmologist says trifocals

the gastroenterologist says reflux at one end
unremarkable at the other
the cardiologist says the heart is everything
come back in a year

the sleep study says pulmonologist
the pulmonologist who agrees with the guru
says C-PAP and naps
the medical intuitive agrees with the cardiologist

the massage therapist says cry
the yoga teacher agrees with the pulmonologist
the guru the cardiologist and the medical intuitive
the psychiatrist says Jesus hand me the PDR

the hairdresser does the eyebrows in lieu of
the grandkid and the dog say what's to eat
the dietician says nothing
the scale says skinny

the oncologist neurologist geriatrician
rheumatologist surgeon anesthesiologist
orthopod and hospitalist
wait in the wings

The patient agrees with the kid and the dog.  Fuck all, he says.
The wife says ok.  Give me your hand. 


Hannah Thomassen lives and writes in the forested foothills of Oregon’s Cascade Mountains. Her work has appeared in Big BridgePresenceWindfallVerseweaversVoice Catcher, and two anthologies from Wising Up Press. In previous lives she was first a teacher, then an RN. All her lifetimes have been instructive.